9. CRP 3 + intimations…

My arm is starting to ache a little from all this trainspotting. Arrived early, expecting a morning rush but the pathologist was empty.

As timing is important, I used up a little of it by reading some of the documents about prostate cancer the urologist had given me about 3 weeks ago. Just hadn’t got round to them. First off, I seem to have been spelling Gleeson (sic) wrong - its Gleason. Second, it hadn’t occurred to me that this could possibly kill me. I had assumed that death was the result of the ‘do nothing’ option.

…up to 86% of men with localised cancer live for at least 10 years, and up to 78% are recurrence free during that time.

Now, these are pretty good odds but reading it shook my complacent assumption that I was somehow immortal. By that I mean I’m just not ready to check out - even in 10 years. I think I been quietly counting on another 20 years, at least. No doubt coming to terms with mortality is just part of growing up. Apart from a few close shaves, I don’t really think I’ve had to come to terms with my own death before. But then, probably no one is ever ready for this - except in films…

There were also some references to Partin Tables and nomograms that sound interesting and worth following up. But a quick look at the Partin tables requires a better understanding of my clinical stage (I’m assuming T2c). According to my readings of these tables, there is a mere 15% probability that the cancer is confined to the prostate, 45% CP - Capsular penetration, 22% SV - Seminal vesicle involvement, 18% LN - Lymph node involvement. Yikes! That’s an 85% chance that it has spread.

By about 10:10am a few old folk with walking sticks had arrived and it occurred to me that I might now one of them.

This time the pathologist was quite talkative ad we discussed the film ‘Australia’ (Susan and I saw it in an empty cinema yesterday evening). She said that she heard it was a dog of a film. I said that Hugh Jackman was not such a good casting choice because the role needed someone more laconic and that I enjoyed the sight of Nicole Kidman’s bottom (neither of us thought much of the rest of Nicole Kidman).

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